What This Portrait Of My Grandma Reminds Me About Love

If there's ever a time you need a little distraction in your life, it's during the divorce process. That's why we launched our Divorce Care Package series. With each post, we'll show you what things -- books, movies, recipes -- helped others relieve stress in the midst of divorce, in the hopes that a few of their picks will serve you well too. Want to share what got you through your divorce? Email us atdivorce@huffingtonpost.com.

When her marriage ended after seven years, children's book author A.S. Chung found comfort in expected and unexpected places.

Below, Chung, who lives in Melbourne, Australia with her toddler, tells us more about what helped her heal after her divorce three years ago.

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If You Grew Up With Divorced Parents, This Music Video Will Hit Home

If your parents divorced when you were a kid (and these days, that describes a lot of us), this song might make you a little teary-eyed.

In a new music video for "When You Love Someone," up-and-coming singer-songwriter James TW explores just how heartbreaking it can be to find out your parents are splitting up.

The 18-year-old British crooner wrote the song after learning that the parents of a young drumming student he taught were getting divorced.

"The first thing I thought was how are they going to explain it to him in a positive way and one where he would understand," he said in a statement to HuffPost. "I wanted there to be a song that he could listen to which would make him feel better about everything that was going on."

The music video nails the experience of watching your parents divorce, from the pre-split fights they try to shield you from, to eventually realizing you'll always be family, regardless of their divorce.

Watch the full music video above.

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There Are No Winners...

A common theme I have noticed in divorce situations is the desire between the exes to prove who is "the winner" and who is "the loser." The conclusion I have reached is that if there are two parents who want to prove that they are the winner, then although the winner may be inconclusive... the loser is certain.

The KIDS are the losers.

Why do people have this innate desire to WIN? I know winning brings a feeling of euphoria, but why do these people choose this particular circumstance to try to win when the balance in the lives of their own children is the high price that is at stake?

The truth of the matter is that in divorce there are no winners. As I have written numerous times in the past, we are adults and we can get over ourselves and the situation. However, our ENTIRE focus should be on keeping things as balanced and normal as possible for our kids.

When I hear a child say, "I don't want both parents there because that's just weird," then I immediately know that his or her parents handled the divorce wrong. Of course, this is assuming that there is no abuse present and that both parents are otherwise well-functioning people. The kids whose parents have put their own agendas aside for their kids are the kids who are comfortable loving both mom and dad, even in the same place -- school performances, games, birthday parties. It's the kids whose parents have tried their best to alienate their ex or undermine their ex who just want to avoid any contact between their parents because they know it won't end well.

I get angry even as I type that because I just can't understand how anyone who is any kind of a parent at all can purposefully put themselves and their own agenda above the happiness and security of their own children. I think those sad individuals are the ones who were probably never given role models on how to correctly behave in divorce situations. And I'll take that even further to say they probably had no role model on how to be a respectable adult either.

Listen to your children. If (minus an abusive situation) they are not comfortable being near you both or they try to avoid situations where they have to invite you both to events, then YOU HAVE FAILED. You may feel like a winner because you have successfully convinced anyone who will listen how terribly you were wronged and how they too should despise your ex. Sorry, you can hang up your white hat because you don't deserve it.

With that being said, it's never too late to right the wrongs of the past.

Seek help. Even if your ex is unwilling, then you and your spouse need to attend co-parenting counseling on how to best help return some normalcy in the lives of your children. Therapists can be a great resource. I've gotten calls from two different friends who have recently started going to counseling with their ex and they both bring their spouses. If you can't imagine doing that, then you need to rethink your priorities. In my opinion, those four couples are WINNERS. They are putting aside their own comfort to ensure the happiness of their children.

I'm excited about the future in our lives as we work hard to right the wrongs. At least I can go to bed at night and know that through it all we have given it our best. I'm hopeful. The kids deserve normalcy since they didn't ask to go on this roller coaster with us. I want our kids to be the winners... even if it's our expense.

What are you willing to do to fix your parenting failures??????

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Single Dad Proposes To Widowed Mom In Emotional Extra Gum Ad

Here come the waterworks: Extra Gum has done it again.

The company's latest tearjerking ad tells the love story of a real couple: single mom Jessica Langevin and single dad Marcus Decredico of Concord, California, who have known each other since kindergarten.

Jessica became a widow at age 25 when her husband was killed while fighting in Afghanistan. She was 8-months pregnant with her daughter Zoe at the time.

"I didn't think love could be possible for me again," she says in the video.

Over the 27 years they've known each other, Jessica and Marcus' paths have crossed time and time again, most recently when Jessica began running an in-home daycare.

"Marcus got in touch because he was looking for childcare for his girls," she told The Huffington Post. "I was so excited to hear from him and our connection sparked again. We just keep finding our way back to each other."

A mom at the girls' school heard that Extra Gum was looking for real-life love stories and connected Marcus with the company. Togethey they orchestrated a surprise marriage proposal for Jessica.

On February 10, Marcus popped the question at the couple's favorite date spot: Grizzly Peak in Berkeley, California. With assistance from their daughters Zoe, Alyvia and Malory, Marcus drew some sweet sketches and wrote cute messages on gum wrappers to hang up around the proposal location.

"I had no clue he was going to propose," Jessica told HuffPost. "I honestly thought we were doing a travel documentary and that the scavenger hunt was for the kids. I only started to wonder when I saw the sketch of my mom and our love letters hung on the trees."

During the proposal, Marcus tells her, "You're my best friend. I want nothing more than for you to marry me," as he gets down on one knee.

Jessica's response? A resounding "yes!" of course.

"It felt like a fairy tale," she continued. "For me, it's all about the small moments in our daily lives, like the little love notes he leaves me around the house. It was amazing to see all of these moments together! When I got to the sketch of him down on one knee I was so surprised! I didn't think the day could get better and then I saw [the rest of] our family coming up the hill."

For more on the couple's incredible love story and proposal, watch the video above.

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Yep, Gwen Stefani's New Song Is Totally About Blake Shelton

Gwen Stefani debuted her new song "Make Me Like You" with a live-music-video-cum-Target-ad during the Grammy Awards. If the neon sign that said "Blake's" in the video didn't give it away, now there's no confusion as to whom the song is about.

During her appearance on "Jimmy Kimmel Live!" on Tuesday, the singer confessed after a little prodding that the new track is definitely about Blake Shelton.

"It is, actually," she said. "I will admit that that song is about that guy, yeah," she told Kimmel.

No surprises there, since the song describes Stefani's hesitations of falling for someone else after having her heart broken. "I was free before I met you /
I was broken but free / All alone in the clear view / But now you are all I see," Stefani sings.

The lyrics seem to mirror Stefani's experience after divorcing husband Gavin Rossdale this past summer. The couple was married for 12 years before they split and had three children together. Stefani has all but outright confirmed that the relationship ended after Rossdale allegedly cheated on her with their nanny. Despite her heartbreak, the 46-year-old was able to move on fairly quickly, and rumors of a romance with Shelton were confirmed in November.

Since going public, the couple hasn't been shy about their relationship. They looked very much in love at Clive Davis' pre-Grammys party on Sunday, where they packed on the PDA.

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Co-Parenting Is Not a Competition

I have two sons, 13 years apart in age. I knew I was going to be a single parent with the first son. The second son was born in marriage and now lives in a single parent home. There is one lesson I have learned which has had the longest and strongest impact on my relationship with my sons -- parenting is not a competition. It is not a foot race, a Nascar event, a chess game. It is not a competition to see who can spit furthest. Nor is it a contest to see who can provide your child with the best clothes, expensive toys or most exciting experiences.

I learned this lesson early with my older son. It was the year when my first son was five. My son's dad told me he was going to get him a large Lego kit and and several other things. When I tallied up how much he was potentially spending that Christmas, I realized there were not enough part time jobs in the world that would allow me to provide my son with an equivalent holiday. Each Christmas my son would come home from his Dad's with brand label clothing, pricey toys. My son would be so pleased to show me what he received. As he grew older the toys became more expensive. His dad and I used to have a conversation about what we were buying our son for the holidays. I could guess what my son's dad motives for this conversation might be, but this would only be a guess, and I was a busy single mother trying to pay off a Christmas layaway. It did not serve me well to speculate too much.

When I think about my own childhood. It is not the memories of the Christmases or birthdays that I remember so much as standing at the kitchen counter as my mother poured the chocolate chips into her cookie dough. She would always hand me a few chips from the bag before mixing them in the batter. I remember raucous games of Uno; we had house rules before there was a little addendum to the game's instructions. I remember doing the the jitterbug with her in the living room to her old 45 records. She was also a busy single mother. It was these moments I remember her enjoying my company.

This is not to say, if you are the parent who can not provide all these extras, that it doesn't feel crappy. As the primary caregiver my concerns are mundane. Shoes and winter coats have to take priority over ski gear. The weekends arrive after a busy week of driving all over creation. Those weekends fly by and sometimes it just feels like you are catching up and preparing for the next work/school week. School vacations can be problematic. Can you get time off from work? Will you have a little extra money to do something with your children? Does you parental rights agreement give you much time during vacation? Add the weight of competition with the other parent and it can be a no win propsition.

So I finally came to this realization. I can't compete. I don't have the money or time to give my sons all the stuff their fathers give them. And...I don't want to compete. Parenting is not a game to see who can win an arms race for your child's affection. It is not my job to control what the other parent does with my son. Empathy allows me to try and understand what their father's motives might be for the excesses. They don't see their kids on a daily basis, that must be really difficult. Perhaps they made choices that over time they regret. Haven't we all done this at some time? Maybe, they feel like they have to compensate for not being around? Guilt can be a difficult emotion to negotiate.

Today my younger son leaves with his dad for February school vacation. They have some pretty big plans. I am glad that my son will have this experience this week. Last night as we were packing his bag for the week he came across a seed catalog I have piled in a to-do pile. We had discussed him growing pumpkins to sell this coming season. It was this perfect little moment -- there we were lying side by side on the floor looking through the pages of the catalog, choosing four varieties of pumpkins:large pumpkins the size of dinosaurs, ghostly white pumpkins, warty brown things that will make great jack o' lanterns, little pie pumpkind. We flipped through the pages beyond the simple pumpkin as he helped me decide what other vegetables we could grow in our garden this year. Stuff is just stuff. It breaks, it is outgrown, it gets forgotten. What remains are memories. I hope that he remembers the sweetness of this moment we shared. I know I will.

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Jennifer Garner, Ben Affleck, Tom Brady And Gisele Bundchen Are On Vacation Together Right Now

This might be Sydney Bristow's toughest mission yet.

Assignment: Survive a ski vacation in southwestern Montana with your soon to be ex-husband and a supermodel and her quarterback husband, who exist on a strict plant-based, organic, dairy-free, gluten-free, GMO-free, sugar-free, caffeine-free, flour-free diet.

According to Page Six, Jennifer Garner, Ben Affleck, Tom Brady And Gisele Bundchen are currently in the throes of a winter getaway at the exclusive Yellowstone Club in Big Sky, Montana. The pairing is honestly a little strange, considering Affleck's former nanny and rumored lover, Christine Ouzounian, reportedly shared a photo of herself wearing Brady's Super Bowl rings in August.

The group is having some fun, however, when they're not hitting the slopes, as they reportedly let loose in a bar on Monday night.

"They had some serious apres-ski and shut the bar down. They started drinking bloody marys, then beer and bourbons. They kept the bar open late for them. They all ate nachos, even Gisele," a source revealed to Page Six.

Gisele? Nachos?!

Although we don't have photo confirmation of the get-together, Brady posted a photo of himself on Monday atop a snow-covered mountain with the caption, "At least it's safer than cliff jumping!"

Let's hope they all make it out alive.

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