The 'Mysterious Darkness' In James Taylor's Family Tree

Over the years James Taylor has been candid about his personal struggles, from opening up about spending time as a teen in a psychiatric hospital to descending into heroin addiction during the early stages of his career.  While the singer-songwriter spent years facing his own demons, he wasn't the only Taylor family member tormented by personal troubles -- a particularly intimate topic he reflects on during a recent appearance for "Oprah's Master Class."

"There's a mysterious sort of darkness in my family tree," Taylor says.

For instance, Taylor's father, whom he describes as functional and brilliant, was also an alcoholic. 

"People argue about substance abuse and whether or not addiction is genetically predisposed," he says. "I think it probably is. There's definitely that gene in my family. Whether it's nature or nurture, we tend to be addicted."

Taylor's eldest brother also struggled with addiction. "I lost my brother to it. Alcoholism killed him. Just, literally killed him," Taylor says.

And addiction wasn't the only issue that Taylor believes he and his siblings were susceptible to, adding that they were also all "so subject to depression."

"That's a double-edged thing -- it's not entirely negative," he says. "In dealing with it, in contemplating it, in trying to get relief, I think a lot of art is generated."

Each of the five Taylor siblings did eventually become recording artists in some respect, and Taylor was often inspired to write and sing songs about the relatively taboo subjects of depression and addiction himself. The future Grammy winner certainly had material to work with, especially around the 1960s.

"There was this period of time when my family kind of came off the rails," Taylor says. "My dad's drinking became an issue... I think that sort of came to a head, came to a crisis, in the late sixties. My folks broke up. I don't know what sent the Taylor siblings into such a tailspin, but three of us ended up in psychiatric hospital."

It was also a tumultuous period for the country. "It was at a time in the popular culture when things were really coming unglued," Taylor says. "It was a very exciting time and very unsettling."

This is when he first tried heroin.

"The drummer from my band, The Flying Machine, was a heroin addict," Taylor says. "It was a matter of time before I got my first taste. And I was gone. As soon as I was introduced to opiates, I was gone."

Now sober for more than three decades, Taylor also shares what he learned from his experience.

"The main thing I would say about it is: Avoid an addiction. That means if you like something an awful lot and it's an addictive substance, run like hell," Taylor says. "If you love it, let that be the last time you ever touched it."

"Oprah's Master Class" airs Sundays at 8 p.m. ET on OWN.

More from Oprah.com:

The day James Taylor's father rescued him in New York City

James Taylor's best advice for addicts: "Sweat it out."

Why certain songs make James Taylor weep

Also on HuffPost: 

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

5 Ways to Get Through Your Divorce

For those of you going through a divorce right now, I know exactly how you're feeling. Because not all that long ago, I was you. I was exactly where you are, I know exactly what you're thinking, I know exactly what you're feeling.

You're worried. Terrified almost. Your older kids already know, and the younger ones are still trying to figure it out. They're all confused. And that's to be expected. You have no clue where you'll end up; physically, emotionally, financially... and you're terrified.

You've all but filed the papers, or you've already filed the papers, and begun the process of selling what you had... that is, if the bank hasn't already taken it. Or one of you has left the home that you once shared. Whatever furniture you had, you've split down the middle (naturally, with some disagreements as to who gets what), and you've finished "Craigslisting" whatever was left.

Now you're in a new and unfamiliar place, and you're broke.

If you're a woman/mother, you're living "hand to mouth" with the kids. You've been a stay-at-home mom, raising the kids and taking care of the house 24/7. You have no job or income or savings for that matter, to "tide you over," and you're crapping bullets with worry. The Christmas season is fast upon us, and you don't even know how the hell you're going to buy milk and bread, never mind gifts and Christmas dinner.

If you're a working (outside the house) mom, you're sweating over how you're going to make it work on ONE income. You're sick over the fact that you and your children could very well go hungry, and your "soon to be ex" is no help; you're fighting over child support (he's holding out), and he'd just as soon let you live you under a bridge somewhere.

But you can't let that happen. This is where you turn it around.

I know you're scared. I know that this shit isn't "fair." But "they" say that "life's not fair." "They" suck.

Sometimes it's completely unexpected, and for others, it's a miracle that it took as long as it did to get to this point. But regardless of how it went down, it's nothing that you can't handle. You can DO this.

These are the five things that helped me through... gave me some semblance of strength and sanity;

1. Make PEACE with "worst case scenario."

This is probably one of the best ways to maintain your sanity in this process. If "worst case" for you is moving into your mother's place with your kids, make peace with it. Once you do that, it'll feel like you've taken a huge breath of pure, cleansing air. Odds are, that you won't ever get to "worst case," but if you're okay with it regardless, you're bulletproof.

2. Let go of the "stuff."

The courts aren't there to take sides... period. They're kind of like that crowd of people who will stand around watching a fight, but no one will step in to break it up. So many women think "well... we had 'x' number of dollars in the bank, so half of it is mine...." Which is great, but unless that money is already in your hands, it'll be a cold day in hell before you see a dime. You'll spend eternity in court trying to get back what's "legally yours," and my BEST piece of advice here, is "Let it go." It'll take you a LOT LESS time to figure out a way to make the money that you're bound to lose fighting for it in the process; whether you lose it to a lawyer, or to a spouse who "insists" on getting/taking more. Make peace with the fact that it's gone, take a deep breath, and let it go. I can't say that enough.

3. Get over the "spite."

Sometimes, in the divorce/breakup process, we do stupid shit purely out of spite. It feels great for all of a split second, but in the short run, it's unhealthy, and all it does is take precious mental and emotional and financial energy away from where they should be going. Put that energy into managing the stress of the situation.

4. Put your "expectations" aside.

Again... when/if you end up in court, most expect that a judge will simply see that they're "right" (whether or not that's the case), make a judgement in their favour, and the whole thing will be wrapped up inside of a couple of hours. It NEVER works that way. Not ever. You can be certain of three things in this process, right or wrong; it's gonna take FOREVER, it's a crapshoot, and you NEED to go in with no expectations... period.

5. Ask for what you need.

I know that this sounds really "hippy dippy," but I believe in the power of the universe like I know my own name. In my experience, I remember sitting on my bed one night, and completely distraught, I said, "I NEED a lawyer. But I need one who won't charge me up front for this because I do NOT have the money. Please GIVE me a lawyer who won't charge me. I also need it to be a tough lawyer, not some pushover..." And with that I went to sleep.

The following day I called my brother, and asked him if he knew a lawyer who fit my description (tough... free...). He told me that he didn't personally know a lawyer, but that a friend of his used to work for a lawyer who was, in his own words (and I swear this is true), "a pit bull." Long story short, I got in touch with her, she became my lawyer, and without my mentioning the money "thing," she didn't charge me a dime. (I'm sorry I can't give you her name, as she doesn't generally work for free.)

The key to getting what you need, isn't asking, and then sitting on your ass waiting for it to fall into your lap. The key to getting what you need, is asking, and then moving in the direction that you'd be moving in if you were going to make this thing happen for yourself. Reach out to anyone you think could help, or might know someone who could help. Once you start asking for what you need, with specificity, everything simply falls into your path. I'm not saying that it won't be difficult. I AM saying that you'll be much better at managing this thing.

You. Can. DO. This.

Peace xo

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

How Do You Make Sure You Are A Good Kisser?

Photographer: Barbara Nitke

There's nothing more sensual than a deep, passionate kiss -- one that unhinges your knees and takes your breath away. It can easily be more intimate than sex. A bad kiss, however, can have the opposite effect, leaving you with a queasy feeling in the pit of your stomach.

We put a lot of stock in kissing. A bad kiss can mow down a budding relationship and a good one can seal the deal. Ever wonder why we kiss at all? We think of it as such a magical act, but if you step back and think about it logically, two people putting their lips together in weird ways doesn't on the surface make a whole lot of sense. One study out of Oxford University explains this odd behavior, claiming that the reason we kiss is to evaluate a potential mate.

There are several times in courtship that we assess a candidate for love, and that first kiss is a big one. Not only does it pave the way for pair bonding, it also allows us to evaluate a mate on a genetic level. Though we are completely unaware, when we kiss a new partner, our bodies consider carefully the genetic makeup of the other, including their immune system, all conducted via the olfactory system. On a subconscious level, we determine if the other person's immune system is different enough from ours. If it is, any offspring will have a good chance of survival, and our system gives us the go-ahead.

There are lots of health benefits to kissing. (As if we needed more incentives.)

It reduces blood pressure. The heart speeds up and the blood vessels dilate during a kiss, which increases the body's blood flow and provides an energy boost. Blood vessel dilation can also help alleviate the pain of headaches and cramps (though kissing is often the last thing on our minds when we have these.)

Also, thanks to kissing, brushing and flossing are not the only ways to maintain a healthy mouth. Kissing creates more saliva, helping to remove plaque buildup that can cause cavities.
Have you been feeling a little blue or stressed out lately? A passionate make-out session can put you in better spirits, since it will prompt the release of feel-good biochemicals such as oxytocin (the "calm and cuddle" hormone), serotonin (the happiness neurotransmitter) and dopamine, which gives us a sense of wellbeing.


Photographer: Barbara Nitke

Your immune system also gets a healthy boost. As gross as it sounds, swapping germs through kissing causes your body to make antibodies against those germs, which can lead to a stronger immune system.

Kissing also boosts our self-esteem. One German study found that husbands who received a passionate kiss from their wives when leaving for work were happier, less stressed, and more productive. Worried about aging? Kissing tightens the muscles of the jaw and neckline.

Have I convinced you yet? Now is the time to start kissing more!

How do you make sure you are a good kisser? Everyone has their own preferences and technique. Some people are heavy into the tongue action, while others are more subtle. Some people are squeamish about the amount of saliva exchanged. There have been plenty of would-be relationships cut short by the phrase, "S/he slobbered all over me."

For a first kiss, start out with a simple smooch on the lips and work slowly into open mouth kissing. Slowly and gently increase pressure and intensity. A gentle in and out motion or a twirling is sexy and a huge turn on. Try to keep it on the drier side, at least at first. Do make sure you haven't eaten a mountain of garlic and onions beforehand.

William Cane is the author of The Art of Kissing, an entire book devoted to this nuanced and important skill. He says

"One of the techniques people love is lip-o-suction. This is kissing and lightly sucking the person's top lip while they go for your bottom one, or vice versa. When tongue kissing, some people love having their lover's tongue slide over their teeth and gums to add more sensation. (I'm not a big fan of that one.). A nice flavored lip balm can add something. If you're the advance planning type, see if you can feed your lover strawberries beforehand -- the taste awakens the taste buds, making your mouth extra sensitive."

Also, never forget that kissing involves much more than your lips! Practice focusing on other physical movements, such as making eye contact during pauses, grabbing the nape of the neck or the head, and pulling your lover in closer. You can even bite their lower lip if you're feeling naughty. Most importantly, take your time and enjoy the experience of kissing. Build slowly from sweet to powerful and passionate.


Photographer: Barbara Nitke

In our culture, it's so easy to become preoccupied with sex as the ultimate expression of passion and love, but kissing can be just as meaningful if we give it the chance. Enjoy every second of your next kiss, and give the experience your full attention. You'll be amazed by how much feeling and power lie just beneath the surface of a simple little kiss.

Earlier on Huff/Post50:

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Why This Divorce Attorney Doesn't Mind That Your Holiday Lights Are Already On

This week it began, the holiday lights being strung throughout the neighborhood and a few brave souls are lighting up the pitch darkness of 5 pm already. It is without a doubt my favorite time of the year. There is hope. People are a bit softer and kinder, reaching into a bit deeper into their pockets and cupboards wanting to assuage hunger and prevent disappointment in children during this holiday season. With a brief whiff of evergreen, I am transported back to time when it was just pure joy, even as a child of divorce. It is the one time of year where we pause and think of family no matter how far away or nutty they may be, honor our traditions while we pass them along and make new ones. There is a general shift focus on making other people happy. In a time when there is so much sadness, glimpses of a smile from another weary traveler or a beleaguered gate attendant reminds us we are not alone. There is joy and accomplishment in each cookie baked, present wrapped and warm greeting no matter what holiday you are celebrating. It is the most wonderful time of the year, right?

Even during this season of magic, there are days I see and hear too much and it makes my heart hurt. There are days when I wish I could be something else "when I grow up". The pain I see is from the people who have been hurt by the ones they loved and trusted the most and from the ones who have done the hurting. There are days I wonder why that "fine line between love and hate" can't be a little less fine. There are the days I do more than skim the stories of those who changed their life after 40, looking for even the tiniest confirmation I can still be a professional travel blogger or invent something the world has always needed but just did not know it. I am a big believer in the gratitude theory. There is no argument that being grateful for all you do have rather than what you don't, puts you in a much better place to handle the impossibly tough stuff. So, when I drink my coffee out of the "glass half full" mug, I need to pull it down because that is my goal for the day (not because I forgot to run the dishwasher and it is the only clean vessel in my house.)

This Thanksgiving and holiday season as I battle in the trenches for other peoples fights, dealing with the indignities of frivolous positions and often less than professional adversaries who make understand why lawyers are not a beloved group, I will try to remember to be grateful for my job. I have the privilege of representing kind and struggling people. I have been trusted to make things better, to protect their money or more importantly their children. I have been in their shoes and came through the fire because someone along the way helped me through. I get to pay it forward. My mistakes had a purpose and I never need to wonder "why me"? In the end I get to bear witness to the strength of the human soul and watch the triumph that is peace and happiness. I see clients and their children grow and flourish and find their way to new friendships and love.

This job, with all the immeasurable heartache, gives me the biggest gift of all, perspective. I get only a few moments to wallow in the latest tragedy of my own day before I am quickly reminded someone has it worse. (Yes, the new car was wrecked but I need to remember my son is safe and no one else was hurt.) Perhaps that is what this holiday season reminds us all, that we are blessed even in times of trouble. So this Thanksgiving, I am grateful for healthy children, the songs belted out by my aspiring Broadway star at 6 am, the invisible friends keeping my 5 year old's imagination growing, the new saxophone that will soon be filling late nights with music from my boys, a loving Husband to share a warm bed, my family by blood and those adopted by heart, those friends who travel from far to share a glass of wine, and those who simply send their loving thoughts, pumpkin spiced everything, and of course, cold turkey sandwiches. I will remember these blessings. I will remember there are those less fortunate, lonely, hungry and weary. I will share my blessings whenever I can.

So Griswold away my friends, the earlier and brighter we light this world up the better. You won't see any Facebook comments from me.

© Krista Barth, 2015

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Are Divorced Guys A Turnoff To Women?

I received a question from a newly divorced man asking, "How do women feel when they hear that a man is divorced?" The guy wrote that he wanted to start dating, but that he feared women would turn away, "thinking that there is something wrong with me since my ex-wife left me for someone else."

To address this divorced man's concern, let me start with some statistics:

Number of divorced guys I have probably dated since my divorce: 7

Number of divorced guys I am friends with: 45

Number of divorced guys I have met in my life: hundreds.

I'm sharing these numbers because I truly feel like I have a pretty good sense of the divorced guy, some common traits, and how I think so many of them think and feel.

The divorced guy is oftentimes seemingly wounded. I have talked to many, many men whose spouses cheated and then left them for another man. Just like it does for women, it kills. It's traumatizing. It's humiliating. It's infuriating. It feels unfair.

I also think many divorced men have no idea how wonderfully attractive they are. The most likely reason is because they haven't felt desired by a woman in a long long time -in the case that their wife was the one who chose to leave. Even worse, she left for another man, so I'm sure that does a number on a man's self-image. This same thing applies to a woman in that situation, by the way.

Now, let me explain how I think many women view a divorced man whose wife left him. I think at first, just like a man might be, a woman might be skeptical. She might be looking for things, wondering, 'hmmm...he seems totally normal. I wonder what he did to make his ex cheat and/or fall out of love with him. was he mean? abusive? Maybe he didn't pay enough attention to the relationship. Maybe HE had an affair.'

That said, I think men and women dating are skeptical of every person they go on a date with, divorced or not. So, what does it matter?

I will say this. I believe that SMART women take the time to really listen to the guy's story and trust our gut. Then we draw our own conclusion about what we think of him, his whole personality, his divorce only being one aspect of him, not what defines him.

Another GREAT trait about divorced men. They have proven that they can commit. I have a lot more faith in a man who has been married versus never married when it comes to his willingness and desire to commit to a serious relationship.

Then there's the kid factor. A man who has been married and has kids will probably be more comfortable around a woman's kids, simply because he has experience. That's not to say it won't work with a man who has never had kids. But the divorced man with kids gets it.

Here's the other thing. If 50% of people are divorced, women are certainly coming across divorced men, right? So, don't feel like you are unique in that sense.

Also, in regards to your comment about there being something "wrong" with you, I have this to say. There IS something "wrong" you. There's something wrong with everyone on this planet. In other words, everyone has faults. So, is a woman going to find some things "wrong" with you? Sure. But that's OK, isn't it? I'm sure you will find things wrong with her, too.

I'll leave you with a great quote. Can't remember who I heard this from. I might even have made it up.

"A woman's decision to divorce her husband could lead another woman to meeting the love of her life."

Jackie Pilossoph is the author of her blog, Divorced Girl Smiling, and the comedic divorce novels, Divorced Girl Smiling and Free Gift With Purchase. She also writes feature stories, along with the weekly dating and relationships column, Love Essentially" for Chicago Tribune Media Group local publications. Pilossoph lives in Chicago. Oh, and she's divorced.

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Dating Diary 10. I'm Dating A Millionaire Who Ticks All The Boxes, But...

So real life tossed High50's dating columnist Louisa Whitehead-Payne an encounter with Plane Man -- minted, a mastermind, and owns his own plane. (So, Louisa, what first attracted you to the millionaire Plane Man? That he could translate old English texts, of course. Duh!). How would she get on?

We have a second date, but I have agreed to go to his house, which worries me somewhat. It will give me a chance to suss out if he is who he says he is. But I am a little nervous about meeting him there. My PA is briefed to call the cops if she doesn't receive a text at 10:15 p.m. confirming my health and safety.

I rock up. There is a helicopter in the garden, a Porsche 911 and a Mercedes in the drive. The plot is at least two acres. The house is a bit modern and nondescript, but it has a home office, gym, cinema and a deck with a hot tub. So, unless he works for the homeowner, he is who he says he is. And he likes boys' toys.

A delicious meal is cooked, he is charming, solicitous and, unlike a lot of successful men, does not talk about himself all night. I happily send the text at 10:15 that all is well. No kiss goodnight is attempted. OK ... it's only our second date.

Most Exciting Date Of My Life

The next invitation is to dinner on the Isle of Wight, flown in on his plane. I have dressed up and Plane Man is very complementary. So he IS interested in me physically. I was beginning to wonder. Good!

It is very exciting flying from one weeny local airfield to another. Sexy, too, with my date at the helm. We eat at a nice restaurant and I am delivered back to Oxfordshire before dark (it has to be light for private pilots to land).

It's probably one of the most exciting dates of my life. Am I smitten? Well, I'm trying to be.

An Overnight Stay

I reciprocate by inviting him to a super-glamorous corporate do. With an overnight stay in London. One hotel room or two? Two, of course ... he hasn't even tried to kiss me yet.

I could do with flirting lessons from those horrid women on TV who make you flick your hair and do the Full Princess Diana look-up from under your fringe. Hell, I don't even have a fringe.

Overnight London comes and goes. There is a little light hand-holding. But he does at least address the issue of why he hasn't propositioned me. I am apparently fragile after leaving my husband so recently. Difficult to know what to say to that. Okaaay...

I decide not to say I've had lots of hot sex with a farmer for the last six months. Or that I am rather good in bed and like to keep my hand in. Nothing suitable springs to mind, so I remain inscrutably stand-offish. He is away for the next month but we make a soft plan to see each other on his return.

Getting My Ducks In A Row

Plane Man has indicated that he doesn't really want a committed relationship, and I just want one person to share good times with. So I see nothing wrong with sussing out other guys, at least for the time being.

I am taking my 92-year-old ex-mother-in-law's advice that I go out with lots of men and sleep with all of them. (Well, none of them at the moment, but I am working on that one.)

My Internetting bears fruit. I now have four dates fixed up after phone chats with four men who sound delightful on the phone. And one I have put behind my ear for later as he is on a road trip with his son in the U.S. By the miracles of Whatsapp, I get lovely funny updates from various stages of his trip.

So, the shortlist is:

1. Vice Man. Pervy? No. He is a former vice chancellor of a university.
2. Brighton Boy. Urbane ex-banker. Consulting from the seaside.
3. Guitar Man. West Country (accent not genre).
4. Home Boy. From my home town.

I know a bird in the hand might be better than four in the bush. But, frankly, serial monogamous dating might take me too long to find a suitable longer-term playmate. Parallel tracking will speed things up and I want a playmate before my looks really go south.

This doesn't sit entirely comfortably with me. But when you are dating in your 50s, it's a numbers game and, if you're a woman, you need to even the odds that are against you as hard and fast as you can.

Related Articles From High50:

Brief Encounter: Meeting A Man When You Least Expect It

You Don't Fancy Them, They're Not Your Type Or They're A Bit Dumb: How To Deal With A Bad Date

Stripping Off For Someone New: The Hair Downstairs Dilemma

Earlier on Huff/Post50:

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.