What Happened When Carmen Electra Ran Into Ex Dennis Rodman At A Party

Running into your ex is always a little bit awkward. Just ask Carmen Electra. 

The model and former "Baywatch" actress stopped by HuffPost Live Thursday and talked about a recent run-in she had with ex-husband Dennis Rodman. The 43-year-old actress said she was hosting a party in Florida when Rodman unexpectedly showed up.

"There was chaos with security -- they thought it was going to be this big problem and this big deal," she said. "They said, 'do you want us to keep you guys separate?' and I said, 'no!'" 

In the end, Electra and the former Chicago Bulls forward ended up having a nice catch-up sesh. 

"We talked for five minutes, we caught up a little bit and that was it -- and it was nice," Electra said. "I've cared about him throughout all these years and it was great to hear that he sounded like he was in a decent place. "

Electra and Rodman got married in Las Vegas in 1998 after a whirlwind months-long romance.The couple were married for less than a year before officially divorcing in 1999.

(Story continues under the photo.) 

During an episode of "Oprah: Where Are They Now?" in 2014, Electra looked back on the oftentimes volatile marriage.

"Our relationship was very passionate," she said. "When it was good, it was amazing. And when it was bad, it was the worst."

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6 Things You Should Never Say to Your Spouse

All relationships have their ups and downs. What is important to remember, is to be empathic to one another, so that you can communicate and solve problems. Otherwise, you create injuries that may last for the duration of your relationship. The old adage, "Sticks and stones can break your bones, but words can never hurt you," is absolutely not true, for the sting of words can fester for a lifetime.

Here are six things that you should never say to your spouse:

1. Never threaten divorce. Never tell your partner you're leaving, unless you really mean it. The fear of abandonment is deep-rooted in each of us, and can be traced back to early childhood, when mom and dad were, for whatever reason, absent. When you tell your spouse, lover or partner, that you are leaving, you threaten him at his very core. His inner dialogue confronts the idea, possibly for the first time, that you could actually live without him. This realization tears at the very fabric of your marriage vows and the idea that your commitment to one another, no matter what, is constant and forever. The threat of divorce can seed those first roots of distrust and rejection, sowing the loss of intimacy.

2. Never use the phrase "don't start." It is a common way to shut down mutuality and, more importantly, it is condescending. It shares the limelight with other phrases such as, "cool it," or "keep calm." Phrases such as these dominate and demean your partner. A better way to address escalating discussions is to simply ask, "What can I do to make things better?" This recognizes your mate as a grownup, both valued and validated.

3. Never say "You're just like your mother..." or father, sister, or brother. This is like name-calling. It objectifies your partner and makes him feel helpless. An accusation is impossible to confront without being defensive. Objectifying your partner bruises his sense of self and prohibits any possible empathy or resolution.

4. Never say "I don't respect you anymore." This is a real conversation stopper and it is so hurtful to one's inner core that it leaves your mate powerless. Deflating one's persona can only lead to withdrawal. It is right up there with betraying a confidence shared in a moment of intimacy or weakness, and is translated to the other as betrayal.

5. Never say, "Do it because I said so." This phrase trivializes your spouse and reduces him to a juvenile status. Phrases such as this that make your loved one feel inferior are toxic to your relationship, as they close down any possibility of real problem-solving, which by its very definition must be mutual.

6. Never say, "You always do... whatever." This is a good way to put your mate on the defensive, and, excuse the pun, it is a gross generalization. Accusations are hyper-critical, and indicate scorekeeping, causing inflation. Toxic language can only create space and distance between you and your mate.

In the end, language that bruises the tender part of your feelings from the person you love the most, can create an atmosphere of hopelessness, and loss of resolution. When partners see no potential for change in the future of their relationship, and when communication is shut down by phrases such as these, it can easily be the beginning of the end.

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The Secret to Lasting Change

Custom has it, ringing in the new year also means making a resolution to change something about ourself we don't particularly like. Problem is, resolutions are easily made, but rarely effective. Needless to say, change is not easy.

Be it good or bad, chosen or forced upon us, change is a challenging, inescapable part of life. Change is as perplexing as romantic love, baffling many an expert who's studied it. Fighting it is futile, because as guru Ram Dass says, "The minute you start to try to live your life as if nothing will change, you become an enemy of the way of things."

Transitioning from marriage to singledom is off the charts change-wise in many big, and little, ways. Simply taking off a wedding ring is daunting for many of the men and women I work with. Although it's been years since I went through it myself, I still remember the ring removal as a dreaded, heroic act. I felt so vulnerable and devastated -- certain my naked finger screamed failure to the world. I put it off as long as I could, but eventually I made the change and moved forward, as so many do.

It's Complicated
Since change is inevitable, what's the key to achieving a change we want or need to do? My dear friend Cheryl Woodruff, a therapist and change expert, gave me a new, fresh perspective about accomplishing lasting change. We were catching up by phone on New Year's Eve and, when our conversation turned to resolution-making, I lamented how hard it is to stay focused on accomplishing a goal.

In her delightfully blunt, but insightful, way Cheryl said, "Sharon, we all know resolutions don't work. It's not about trouble focusing -- it's about self-love and acceptance. It's the paradoxical theory of change, which is counterintuitive and hard for many people to grasp."

What is this paradox?

The Problem
According to Cheryl, most of us approach change in a way that sets us up for failure. First, we usually decide to change something we dislike about ourself. This immediately starts the process off on a negative foot as we dredge up all our past shortcomings and our brain goes into overdrive flooding us with messages about what's wrong with us.

Then, we push ourself to do something we don't want to do, or maybe we do something that takes us out of our comfort zone, or we pressure ourself to give up something we like. And that's a problem. Gestalt therapists say energy under pressure is a force for resistance- not a motivator for change.

Finally, when we stumble along the way, we berate ourselves, cluttering our brains with negative chatter ("Why can't I do this? What is wrong with me?"). This negativity becomes self-defeating, even paralyzing, and we feel worse. Frustrated, we give up, hating ourself in the process.

The Secret to Lasting Change
How, then, can we achieve lasting change? As Cheryl observes, "The first step of change is to know yourself, to understand yourself and accept yourself as you are, even with the bad habit. Self-knowledge is really how you change."

Knowing your strengths, weaknesses, and limitations can help you chart a path toward a change that is realistic, attainable, and lasting.

These 5 tips can help you realize the change you want:

• Shift your focus from the problem (what you need/want to change) to the solutions and positive results the change (goal) will bring.



• Identify small, realistic steps that will move you toward your goal.



• Know what you can change and accept what you can't change.



• Understand yourself well enough to know what motivates you.



• Believe in yourself enough to stick with it.

What if you slip along the way? Beating yourself up will only bind you to failure. Instead, treat yourself with compassion and empathy. Accept that you are human, remember you are strong, and move on. Cheer yourself onward (don't bully yourself into change) and you'll overcome obstacles. Tell yourself, even during setbacks, "Yes! I can do this! I am a good person. I have what it takes."

So, back to removing the wedding ring. Should separation/divorce cause you to take it off, shift your perspective from "I'm a failure. My marriage didn't work. No one will ever love me," to "I'm a good person. I'm courageously charting a new course. I'm in such good company, it's been called a mid-life rite of passage. And, I even get a second chance at creating a brilliant new, life!"

Best wishes for a 2016 filled with changes you want.

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Couple Who Met Through HuffPost Divorce Is Getting Married

You never know when or where you might meet the love of your life. That was certainly the case for Jodi Meltzer and Mike Darter.

It all started in 2014 when Jodi, a HuffPost Divorce blogger and single mom, penned a post titled "Top 10 Rules for Dating a Single or Divorced Mom." The blog struck a chord with Mike, a fellow single parent. He decided to send Jodi an email, which led to hours-long phone calls, thousands of text messages and eventually an in-person meeting. The rest, as they say, is history.

On Thursday, the couple stopped by HuffPost Live to share some exciting news -- their recent engagement!

Mike popped the question at the couple's favorite spot in Maine with both of their kids present.

"I dropped to one knee and gave her the ring and said, 'What are you doing for the next 40 or 50 years?," he recalled to host Nancy Redd. "Our kids were ecstatic."

"When this type of connection occurs, it is truly gift," Jodi said of their relationship. "It is serendipitous. It's like this cosmic connection that's just a natural fit -- you don't have to pretend to be anything but who you are."

For more on their unlikely love story, watch the video above.

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9 Tips For Writing An Engaging Online Dating Profile

For every woman who tells me guys only look at the pictures on her online dating profile, I have two guys who tell me otherwise. It's true, men are visual creatures. But so are women, including this woman. And I know when I come across a guy who I think is physically attractive, what he writes can either spark my interest further or, alternatively, snuff it out completely. When it comes to online dating profiles, a picture is not always worth a thousand words -- for either of the sexes.

What you say matters. There are a lot of eligible singles utilizing online dating sites and apps meaning the onus is on YOU to distinguish yourself from the competition. Posting appealing pictures is an essential first step to creating an engaging online dating profile but not the only step. The words you choose are a close second because, based on what you write, you have the power to create the most flattering picture of all -- the one that is conjured in the mind.

Here are nine tips for writing an engaging online dating profile that will not only pique the interest of others but leave them wanting to learn more.

1. Choose a meaningful username. Pretend you're an advertising executive who recently landed a big account. You're now charged with the job of selling your product in a few characters. How can you accomplish this? A play on words is one effective way. Are you a beekeeper named Bea? How about calling yourself "QueenBea?" Are you a screenwriter? How about calling yourself "Mr.Write?" Playful examples for sure but, hopefully, you get the point. Usernames such as "BrownEyes203″ or "MuscleMan918" do little for speaking to who you are and only to what you look like. You've already posted pictures specifically for this purpose. The idea is to now jump off the page and become more than another pretty/handsome face. Also, be mindful of the image you want to portray, meaning if you're a guy named Stan who's looking for a long-term relationship, it's probably best not to call yourself "OneNightStan."

2. Use your words. The same advice you received as a child when you were asked to communicate how you were feeling applies here. Online dating sites offer a specific number of characters for a reason. Use them. Pretend you're actually on the date you're trying to get. What would you want that person to know about you? What would you want to tell them? If what you have to say somehow gets lost in translation when you begin typing, try this: grab your cell phone and start recording a message to yourself about yourself. Lead with a quick story or anecdote. Once you're finished, play back what you've dictated, writing it down as you do. Lo and behold, you will have a first draft from which you can now craft a more enticing online dating profile, one that doesn't list meaningless adjectives that can be found on countless profiles besides your own.

3. Spellcheck. For the love of God, spellcheck what you've written. In this day and age, there is no excuse for typos, incorrect punctuation, or poor grammar. People will judge you for your errors and hold them against you.

4. Be positive! Beginning your profile with "I don't know why I'm on this site," or "Does anyone really read these things?" is, to put it mildly, a turnoff. If you set yourself up for failure, undoubtedly you will fail. People who are positive attract other positive people. People who are negative attract other negative people or, worse still, no one at all. Highlight a part of your life that you're excited about -- a hobby, a cause, a life change that has empowered you -- and lead with it. Ask a question. Make a bold statement. Begin with a quote from someone who inspires you and work off of that.

5. Ask a friend. When you're finished writing your profile, run it by a friend or, better yet, three friends, at least one of whom is of the opposite sex. Ask "Is my profile engaging?" "Is it true to who I am?" "Would you want to meet me after reading it?" Then take any suggestions to heart, making changes as you see fit.

6. Be honest. When it comes to writing online dating profiles, as it does in real life, honesty really is the best policy. No one wants to schedule a date with someone who claims to be a skilled tennis player only to find out on the tennis court he or she can barely swing a racquet. The same goes for your age. If you're 52, there's no sense writing that you look, act, and feel younger or, worse yet, lying about your age. Be proud of who you are and where you are in your life. The right person will be eager to share your enthusiasm. Pull a bait and switch and you will instead see how enthusiasm can quickly turn to ambivalence, even anger.

7. Don't be rude. Being honest about what you're looking for in a partner is one thing, being rude is another and the line can be a fine one. One of the "best" (euphemism) phrases I've read on an online dating profile was this one: "If the only gym you know is a guy named Jim, move on." Okay, I get it. A lot of men prefer a slender woman. But unless you're sporting Brad Pitt's body in the movie "Troy," especially among us middle agers, all I can do is point you to a glass house and a few stones.

8. Be elusive. Your online dating profile is not a confessional booth, AA, or a blog post in which to air your dirty laundry. We all have a history and possibly a skeleton or two in the closet. Your "issues" can be discussed when you're actually in a relationship, not when you're first looking for one.

9. Don't exclude. If what you've been doing so far hasn't been working, i.e. you find yourself dating the same type of person over and over again and yielding the same (undesirable) result each time, try broadening your search. Compatibility lies far deeper than whether or not you and a prospective partner both like to cook or whether you enjoy similar music. Compatibility actually has more to do with sharing common core values. So go ahead and experiment! As Oscar Wilde once said, "To expect the unexpected shows a thoroughly modern intellect." Hey, you never know. Finding love online may be just the surprise you've been waiting for.

Interested in a professionally written online dating profile customized especially for you? Visit me, Stacey Freeman, at WriteOnTrack's online store for more information.

photo credit: Young love via photopin (license)

Visit Stacey at WriteOnTrackLLC.com or follow her on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, and DivorcedMoms.com.

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9 Not-So-Obvious Signs Your Partner Isn't 'The One'

Your partner should bring out the best in you, inspire you to grow and make you laugh like nobody's business. If that's not happening, you're probably with the wrong person. 

Below, experts share nine signs the person you're with might not be right for you. 

1. She doesn't see your full potential. 

The right partner sees your worth and won't make you feel anxious about where you are in life, said Washington D.C-based psychologist Alicia H. Clark. And she certainly won't suggest you change to fit her idea of the perfect partner.

"As simple as it sounds, there is much value built into feeling comfortable -- safe, accepted, valued, supported, understood and wanted -- in a relationship," she said. "A good partner helps you feel more like yourself, not less so." 

2. He doesn't share your sense of humor. 

The two of you should be like the romantic version of Key and Peele: Comedic peas in a pod who can make each other laugh, said Alexandra H. Solomon, a psychologist at the Family Institute at Northwestern University. If not, the hard times you'll inevitably face together are going to be a lot harder. 

"As you travel through life with a partner, there are so many bumps in the road; being able to find levity even in dark and difficult moments makes the tough stuff so much more bearable," Solomon said. 

3. She doesn't fight fair.

You're bound to disagree but the right woman will try her damnedest to avoid name-calling and a knock-down, drag-out war of words, said Marina Sbrochi, a dating coach and the author of Stop Looking for a Husband: Find the Love of Your Life. 

"How you fight determines if the relationship grows or rots," she said. "A great catch is mature enough to disagree and work through things like a mature adult. No name-calling, raging, dirty tricks and never anything physical."

4. He's not your bestie. 

Your partner should be your ride-or-die, the Jay to your Beyoncé and the one person you *might* be able to forgive for giving you the flu. If he's not, well, you're probably the with the wrong guy, said Boston-based wellness coach Jennifer Barrows.

"If you're not good friends, then it may be time to reassess," she said. "If your friendship is strong, your relationship will be built on a foundation that can handle both everyday stresses like getting the kids to school and household chores as well as crisis situations." 

5. She's untrustworthy. 

Honesty is imperative, said Barrows. If you can't trust your partner, you have no foundation for a relationship. 

"Expecting honesty from your partner shows that you have respect for yourself," she said. "Of course, this is a two-way street: If you find that both you and your partner are being blatantly dishonest with each other, you owe yourself some major introspection." 

6. He's not willing to help out around the house. 

Ain't nobody got time for tired gender roles in a modern-day relationship. The right guy (or gal) isn't afraid to get their hands dirty in the kitchen and clean up around the house, Sbrochi said. 

"If he has problems with gender expectations, he's not the one," she said. "Gone are the days of the man being the sole breadwinner and the wife being at home, cooking and cleaning. It's an equal opportunity world now and he should see you as an equal partner." 

7. She's oblivious to mistakes she made in past relationships. 

We're creatures of habit: How we behaved in earlier relationships has bearing on our future relationships. Your partner should be up to the task of evaluating what went wrong last time around to avoid making the same mistakes again, Solomon said. 

"Curiosity about the self is a key ingredient for a healthy, intimate relationship," she explained. "Every relationship has problems and relationship problems are always made up of 'your stuff,' 'my stuff' and 'our stuff.' In order to successfully navigate relationship challenges, you need to be with someone who is willing to look at their part of the 'dance.'"

8 He doesn't take responsibility for his actions. 

The right partner will own his mistakes wholesale. No empty apologies or finger-wagging, just the healthy, grown-up ability to admit he was wrong so you two can move on, Clark said. 

"It's not so much that your partner never makes mistakes -- that's impossible." she said. "Mistakes are how we learn in life and in love. Being able to recognize and learn from them is what keeps us and our relationships healthy." 

9. She doesn't bring out the best in you. 

In moments when you're being hyper-critical or doubting yourself, your S.O. should be quick to come in with moral support, reminding you of your worth and that your latest personal crisis is sure to blow over. 

"One of the markers of a successful and healthy relationship is a capacity to see the positives in a situation and not dwell too much on the negative," said Clark. "[A partner] who has the capacity to focus on the positive will help you maintain your connection over the long-term." 

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