Saturday, February 13, 2010

6 Steps To Deal With A Breakup - Step 2

When you are dealing with a break up it is a difficult process, but you need to remember that you are not alone. Many people go through the emotions that come along with a broken relationship. What you need to focus on is good relationship breakup advice. There is a 6 step process that you need to go through in order to move on quickly with your life. These steps are: Acceptance, Understanding, Grieving, Redirecting your energy, Dealing with rejection, and Growing.

This article is going to deal with the second step of healing from a breakup, which is understanding.

When a relationship ends it is only natural to become fixated on the reason why things went wrong. In order to move on it is important to find out what went wrong in the relationship so that the same mistakes can be avoided in the future. What you need to avoid doing is focusing too heavily on what you feel went wrong. You need to take a step and try to understand things from different perspectives.

Seeking out an explanation to the breakup from your ex is a good place to start. You have to remember that you won’t get any answers that will help you if you come across as being desperate to get your ex back. You need to present yourself in a calm, rational manner and listen to what your ex has to say. If you aren’t able to do this then you will only end up getting answers such as, “It’s not you, it’s me”. This is rarely the actual truth to the matter. This is what is typically said when your ex feels that you won’t be able to handle the truth.
There will be times when you ask your ex what went wrong, and they might not have an answer to give you. You can’t get upset if this is the case. You need to respect their decision and try to understand how they are feeling.

The best way to discover what went wrong in the relationship is to seriously ask yourself. Take a closer look at the relationship from an outside point of view. Don’t focus on just one thing, because often times it is never just one thing that caused the breakup. It is usually a variety of issues that lead up to the decision to end the relationship. It is important to accept responsibility for your role in the breakup and understand the role your partner played in it as well.

Try asking yourself exactly how you felt about the relationship. Put aside all of the emotions you are feeling at the moment and try to think back to how you really felt when you were together. Did you truly care or were you simply comfortable being with this person? This will be very helpful in understanding where things went wrong.

At all cost avoid asking yourself questions that start with “what if” or “if only”. The past is the past and the only way to move forward with your life is to focus on the future. You need to focus on making positive changes in your life, otherwise you will let opportunities slip by you. You need to understand as well that the only way to get back your ex is to make positive changes toward the future.

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