The First Holidays After Your Divorce

Your first holiday as a single individual can be overwhelming, to say the least. For some, they are celebrating in a new home, surrounded by new people, missing holidays past. If children are involved, they are now splitting time between Mom, Dad, and extended families. There is no map to guide you from Thanksgiving Thursday through New Year's Day, no, blueprint outlining how you should feel and when. Unfortunately, it's a crash course that everyone going through a divorce must take.

Here are some suggestions to assist you during this time:

1. Create new traditions. Coming up with ideas independent of holidays past is a great way to embrace your life moving forward. If you have children, ask what they would like try, or ideas they may have.

2. Do not stay home by yourself! It is very easy to isolate yourself during this time because facing the season hurts, but that is the worst thing you can do! Force yourself to spend time with family and friends
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3. Try not to dwell on holidays past. It's natural to think on past holiday seasons, but not healthy to stay there. Dwelling on what used to be is a one-way, dead end street: it only travels in one direction and the ending is always the same.

4. Take a vacation. If there aren't children involved, taking a vacation is a great idea! Contact family and friends and put together a little weekend getaway, or even a beach vacation.

5. Make plans for your future. Who says you have to wait for the New Year to make resolutions? Making plans is a great way to lift your spirits, and keep you looking forward with anticipation for what the future holds.

I wish I could share a quick fix to get you through your first holidays as divorced individuals without pain but, sadly, I can't. This is road that must be traveled by the one who jumped in the driver's seat. However, what I can share is this: it absolutely does get easier. You will not always hurt; you will not always feel lonely, or scared. Divorce is a small portion of your life; granted, it's one that sucks at the moment, but it's just that--a moment--and not meant to be lived in. It's meant to be lived through and learned from so you can move forward onto better, brighter, and happier times.

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